My Weight Loss Journey

I went out shopping for a little bit yesterday afternoon. One of my main reasons was to get another pair of jeans...with the weather cooling down 1 pair wasn't going to cut it and the pair I have I love since they are really comfortable but they are on the long side and only look good with heels. So we headed out to the Tanger Outlets and to the American Eagle store. It's such a different experience to shop for clothing now then it was a year ago. I know my body type so I stayed away from the skinny jeans and hit up the boot cut and hipsters. I didn't see the boyfriend cut right away but I knew that they fit since I had tried them on about a month and half ago. I do have to say that it's still a bit shocking to have to not struggle to get the jeans up over my calves, hips and buttoned/zipped at the waist. I like the way that the boot cut looked more than the hipsters (which were a bit longer in the leg) so I held onto them until right before I left I found the boyfriend...

What a week it has been so far, and not a good one in my book as far as eating and exercising has gone. On Sunday I made country fried steak, fried okra, green beans, rice and gravy made with the pan drippings. Yeah, granted that is a lot of food and a lot of fried food, but I haven't made this since I started this journey over a year ago and I know that having it just once isn't going to kill my "diet" or weight loss. But then Monday rolls around....I hit the gym like I normally do, did a pretty good cardio workout and did my legs...good so far, right? Then I went to my therapy appointment and afterwards I was hungry for lunch...I should have just drove home and had lunch there, but no I stop at Chick-fil-a. I got the chicken strip salad, that alone isn't that bad but I used to much dressing and I had a coke instead of the water I should have had. But I could have just finished the day out well with a good healthy dinner, but did I? Nope, we called in Outback tak...

I had a fabulous weekend of hanging out with friends and family. I got to hang out with some oh so fabulous ladies Friday morning with yummy treats and great conversation, then Friday night I went out with some more fabulous ladies to Downtown Charleston, went dancing at a couple of clubs, which I haven't done in I can't count how many years...though I did have more drinks than I had planned on, lol. But one of the biggest things I realized Friday night was that I no longer think of myself as "fat"....I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror since it didn't seem real that it was me looking back out from the reflection. I was a little self conscious about dancing since I didn't think I was doing it very well but not from my weight....YIPEE!!!! I can't wait to go out with them again. I got to wear a top that I bought back in July with the jewelry I bought to go with it. It's the 1st time that I have gotten that dressed up in a long time. I act...

So, through out this whole process of me dropping this weight my one want, my one hope would be that my legs would slim down. When I was at my highest weight I carried my weight pretty much all over my body, though my stomach was very big, but so were my legs, arms, and face. And as I have dropped the weight I have lost the weight in my face, arms and stomach, but I feel that my legs are still as big as ever. When trying on pants I don't necessarily worry so much as if they will fit in the waist or being too long since I'm short I know I will always run into problems there, lol. No, my worry is if the pants are going to fit over my calves and thighs. My wish is to be able to wear calf length or even knee high boots this fall and with the size of my legs that wish isn't going to be coming true any time soon. Plus I've noticed that I'm either going to need to stick with floor length or above the knee dresses as anything that falls in between make my legs look stumpy...

You know what the best thing about weight loss is: how the damn scale yo-yos back and forth with my weight....NOT!! One week I'm 149.2 and the next 150.2. Yes, I know the reasons why its back up to 150.2 and those reasons are: not really being as careful with my food this week, not getting in all of my workouts and the fact that my period is due to start some time this weekend, hence the not so carefulness of my eating. And yes, it's only a pound...but let me tell ya that pound is hard as shit to get off. I have spent the last 2.5 months working off 10 lbs.   I'm not terribly upset about the "gain" as I know what its from and there's a good chance that it will be gone by the end of the weekend. Yet,  i t's still so frustrating.  I am one of "those" people who is a scale watcher and I have come to accept that. But I don't let the number on the scale determine how my day is going to go. I will still go to the gym and do my workout how I had p...

So I was taking a look at my past blogs the other day and I came across the blog I wrote back in April that showed my weight loss journey in pictures. And all I can say is OMG! That starting picture is so freaking horrendous. I can't believe that I actually thought I looked pretty weighing that much. I can't believe that my husband actually found me attractive then. And I can honestly say that I was not one of the pretty fat girls...I was just plain fat and ugly. Its funny what lies one's self will tell them to help them feel good about themselves. I look at myself then and then I look at myself now and can't even comprehend that they are the same person. I feel like I'm a completely different person now. I AM a completely different person now.  But every once in a while I still look at myself I still see a fat, overweight, ugly person. Like today, I know I had just rocked it on the treadmill doing sprint intervals (definitely going to add that to my workout plan ...

So...I guess it has finally happened...I had someone at the gym today tell me that I look to be at a great size now. Yes, I'm so much further than when I started, pretty much half the size in clothing than when I started, but I just don't feel like I'm where I actually want to be. I thanked her and told her that I have about 20 more pounds to go. I guess I see myself differently than what others see. And I don't see the 240 lb women either...I just see someone who could still use the benefit of losing another 20 or so lbs. I'm not going to lie...I use my BMI as a big motivator...I want to be in the normal weight category and I'm about 15ish lbs away from that, but that would be at the high end and I want to be in the middle so that would mean for my height I need to be 120-125 lbs. But I'm not putting all my wanting just on the BMI scale since I know it doesn't take into consideration of muscle mass and bone structure, but that is where doing the BOD POD...