My Weight Loss Journey

I just love how stress, being upset, and every other emotion I have felt over the few days has brought out the inner fat girl in me. I have had great intentions every morning of getting in a great workout (which I have stuck to, with today's run being AWESOME) and then sticking to a good eating plan. Breakfast starts off great and then the day goes down the drain. Yesterday I bought a sinful brownie mix with caramel baked in it. Yep, that bad boy lasted last night and today. I polished off the whole thing. Made myself sick to my stomach, but I kept eating them. I glad now that they are gone. I'm so ready to get back to this seriously and drop the rest of the weight. Totally need to find another way to deal with all this emotions and not with chocolate!  Count down is on for tomorrow morning's workout!!! Just need to make a plan for the "diet" portion and STICK to it!  Onto be a better day and better things!!

Once again I won't be spending Thanksgiving with my family and being this close it really sucks big time. But again, my mother was behind it. Last year (our first year back in 6 years) I had asked if Thanksgiving dinner could be moved up or down a couple of hours so that me, Ty, and the kids could see some of the his family too. But my mom wouldn't even ask my other aunts if that was possible. It wasn't that I was asking to do this every year, just our first year back. I asked why and she said that they were the older people and they got to make the decisions. So we stayed home here in Charleston. So tonight I get a call from my mother saying that Thanksgiving has been moved from 3 to 1. I was like okay, fine. Then I asked why? She told me that my cousin is doing something with her dad that evening, something like cooking dinner around 5 or 6. Then it hits me, that this is pure BS....that they wouldn't move Thanksgiving for me but they will for my cousin. I got piss

So I have had a lot on my mind lately and this has been one of them and at times I think it stresses me out. And we all know how stress can affect our bodies, especially when we are trying to lose weight. I have only said this to maybe two people, one for sure. So here goes... I have been wondering a lot lately who would stop wanting to hang out with me or even be my friend if I told them the truth about my religious beliefs. I don't believe in church and I don't believe in the bible, but that doesn't mean that I don't believe in GOD. I haven't really come to that decision yet. This also doesn't mean that I don't have morals and standards that I live myself by or my family. I don't judge those who do go to church or believe in the bible. They have every right to do so. And when people ask for prayers, I just say that I will keep them in my thoughts since I don't pray.  But there are days where I just feel so weighted down by keeping this to mysel

Time to be honest really. Ever since the 2nd week of October I have really fell off to the wayside with my workouts and eating healthy. I want to blame it all on the fact that I'm now a lot busier than I have been all year but honestly that isn't true. Yes, I am busier than normal. Every weekend except for the first one in October was filled with one activity after another. And yes, we have gone down to one car as I stated in my previous blog but I have let stupid reason stop me from making it to my workouts, like this past Monday I made it all the way to the gym when I realized I didn't have my "sweat towel" so I drove back home and let the fact that I was already home keep me from driving back. But then I have legitimate reasons for not making it like today, went outside to drive to the gym and our car wouldn't start. Luckily enough a friend of ours came over and jumped us off. But really I let the stupid excuses be there more and more than actually going. 

It's been a while since I have written a blog, even though I have been wanting to write one for a while now. But I think last night really set me off. My dad called me last night and we talked about normal family things and then right before we got off the phone he was asking me about my weight loss. He pissed me off by have the gall to get onto me about not getting to the gym as much as I should lately. Telling me how easy it is to gain the weight back. I hate when talks to me like I am a child, I'm 33 years old and have been at this weight loss journey for close to a year and half. Even with the slight gain of about 5 lbs or so I'm still down over 90 lbs over all. All my smallest size clothing still fits without any issues.  Yes, I know that I have somewhat slacked at getting to the gym the last three weeks or so and I let my food choices not be what they should be and I will take all the responsibility of that. But I haven't given up totally. My life has changed a