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Showing posts from 2012

2013

Since 2012 wasn't what I wanted for myself with my weight loss journey I plan on making 2013 10x better.

 I plan on losing the last 60ish lbs to finally reach my goal 130 lbs. I plan on being a much happier person, since I know that when I'm happy I have a easier time losing the weight. I will continue to see my therapist to reach that goal to being happy.

This year I plan on getting out of my house more often than just going to the commissary or to the gym. I will find something to occupy my time during the day, sitting at home with the four walls closing in isn't the way that I want to live my life. I feel like I have been forgotten by the people in my life...its like the saying "Out of sight, out of mind" really is playing out in my family. But it's up to me to make myself happy, not the other way around.

This year I plan on taking my family on a vacation, not sure where yet, but we need to get away from this city for a week or two. Along with a mini vacation…

Motivation VS Determination

Motivation is a great thing. It can help you jump start your weight loss but motivation doesn't last. It's the determination of making that change last for a life time that will get you through the process. 

When I started this process close to 2.5 years ago I had some great motivation. My motivation was to prove all those who called me fat, ugly and who knows what else that they were wrong. And once the weight started to fall off and people started to see who I really was the determination started to kick in. I was determined to be that person, but life, thought, and feelings gets in the way. I started to feel tired of doing all the hard work that comes with losing weight and some might say that it's the working out part, but for me that was easy. It's the always being on watch of what I was eating and over a year ago I gave up on that. The result: a 30-35 pound weight gain. 

Now its time to find that determination that I know I have in me. I'm not good at setting c…

Confession Time...

It has been over a year since I have successfully lost any amount of weight. This past week I have seen my weight creep back up close to 190 and its scary. The month of December hasn't seen much time in the gym, 10 days in and I have only worked out twice, though I did get to the gym after my therapy this afternoon. Some the weight gain I have seen I know is due to my period, but still its hard to watch that number go up and up and up. I can happily say that if I haven't stuck to going to the gym as I have been over the year I know that I would have put all the weight I loss back on, and possibly more. 

I have decided that today I am getting my life back on track...no more eating crap like I have been lately. No more not caring if I get to the gym. I need to get my life back. I'm slowly falling back into the trap of not being happy with anything in my life. I lived like that for too long. The year of 2011 was one of the happiest that I can remember in a long long time. I wa…

Emotions...

I have several emotions going on in my head right now and I'm 100% certain they are the reason I'm having such a hard time with my weight loss right now. 

ANGER, PISSED OFF, HURT:
I am angry, pissed off and hurt at the one person who is suppose to love me unconditionally. But apparently she either didn't get that memo or what I have been thinking for the last 12 years is really true. That I don't live up to her standards and that her love comes with conditions that I guess I'll never meet. That she has found others to replace me with. I have tried for years to get her to accept me the way that I am and for her to treat me as she does the others in our family, even those are now related through marriage. Hell, I don't even rate as high as some of her friends. I finally cut ties with her, thinking that I can finally move on with my life, no such luck as she doesn't want to abide by my wishes, but then again why should I expect her to.

LONELINESS, DEPRESSION:
On a…

Over Coming Obstacles

Over the weekend my husband found out that his grandmother on his dad's side of the family passed away. He spent most of yesterday trying to figure out a way to get back up home, which is about a 3 hour drive, and not leave me and the kids without a car. Oh the joy of only having one vehicle. We finally decided for him to just take the car since he will only be gone over night at the most. And I'm sure that if anything comes up here at home while he is gone that there is someone I can lean on to help me out. It's one of the perks of being apart of the military community. 

Here comes the obstacle: my workout. I have a few options to choose from. One being skipping my workout tomorrow and pick back up tomorrow. Two being workout at home (which I can't stand to do, since going to the gym is the only time I leave the house on most days). Three, walking to the gym. I don't mind walking to the gym since it's only about 1.25 miles from my house and I can make it in abo…

Gaining Weight Sucks!

I hate that I gained back close 40 lbs back! I know that I wrote a while back that I was back on track but it wasn't so. Yeah, I stayed true to the gym and my workouts but the diet portion wasn't there. It's true about what they say; losing weight is 20% exercise, 80% diet. Getting back up to basically 188 lbs was easier than I thought could happen. And now I'm dealing with the downside of it. Most and I mean about 85% of my clothes don't fit me anymore. And working with a limited wardrobe before was tough, this is even tougher.

So here I am almost 27 months in this journey and I'm having to re-lose these 40 lbs, along with about 30 more to reach goal. I'm basically having to retrain my mind that it's okay to live off smaller portions. I'm just glad that I never stopped going to the gym.

To help get me a jump start on the weight loss train I joined a challenge to go the month of September with no fast good and 6 days in I haven't had any. Don'…

Back On Track with Friends

I think I have slowly found myself back on track. Though I can't take all the credit. I have two really good friends who have set up an accountability group. Through out the day we text each other to see how we are doing with our food choices and also our workouts for that day. We even send in a snap shot of our calories/exercise totals for the day off the Sparkpeople mobile app. It's great that even though we aren't in the same city/state we have this support for each other.


 I also have a good friend who is here on the AFB that has really pumped up my workouts from introducing me to new classes such as the circuit training class to coming up with workouts on her own. Let me tell ya, those workouts that she has put together have really kicked my butt and it's great info for me to use on my own (which I have done on several occasions). The one class she introduced me to that I have fallen in love with is Krav Maga. Its a self defense class and fortunately right now they…

My First 10k Experience

Today was my first 10k race. I ran it with my husband. We got up at 3 am to be out there door by 3:30 so we could stop by a convenience store to grab some water. We were downtown Charleston by 4 am, one of the first to show up. We wanted to be in line early for the buses to take us from Charleston to Mount Pleasant to where the race would start. Worked out great, we were on the second bus to head over. They drop you off about a half a mile or so from the starting line, so we took our time since by this time it was only 5:30 and the race didn't start til 8. Made a couple bathroom breaks. Let me tell ya, trying to use a port a potty in the dark is not an easy thing to do, lol. After one of the bathroom breaks, we sat down in a parking lot to waste a bit of time before making our way to where we would be starting. Since the race had 44,000 people signed up they start the race in waves depending on your estimated finish time. We ended up sitting in a church parking lot for about an ho…

Time to Run...

So it's finally here: The Cooper River Bridge Run. I have been looking forward to this race for a year now. As I was watching my husband run it last year I was envious of not doing it then so I made sure that I signed up for this years race. 
This morning we headed downtown to pick up our packets. I was eager to see which corral we were assigned to so I can see which wave we would start in. According to the map we are starting in the third wave for our estimated run time. We have 6 corrals that will be starting before us. And the great thing about this race we have to be up between 3-4 am to be downtown to get a parking spot and be in line for the bus to take us over to the start line around 5. Then we get to stand around until its time to run. I know how my nerves are and I will be bouncing around until we actually start running. This will drive my husband up the wall....lol.
My goal for the race is to complete it in under 75 mins, which if I don't I know that I will be very cl…

Stress On the Body

So the last couple of weeks I have been stressed out over several different situations, but hey that's life, right? But the down side of being stressed out and upset over things is that body pays me back in such horrible ways such as massive headaches that tend to lean into migraines and really horrible acne. I seriously thought it was clearly up but look it, it seems worse:


The acne on my forehead has doubled in size. Not the greatest photo but you can see some of it. I'm even getting a new on my cheek. But a good friend has sent me something to try and clear it up so I'm really looking forward to that. 


And to add to that I got a headache this afternoon. I thought it might be from not eating much today, but I ate something before I went to an event I had to attend and even ate something smaller there but it steadily got worse. I finally came, took out my contacts (which for me intensifies the pain) and took some meds, and now the pain is slowly abating. 


So ready for Saturd…

Last PreRace Run

Lesson learned today...don't expect a great run time the day after a really good leg workout and circuit training class. Plus I'm still not used to running in warmer weather. I'm glad that the race is early in the morning while its still cool, though I'm totally not looking forward to getting up at the butt crack of dawn. After talking with my husband I have decided to take both tomorrow and Friday off from the gym to let my body rest up. This will be my first 10k and I haven't ran 6 miles in a long long time, nor have ran the bridge since last fall. But I'm sure with all the excitement of being at the race I'll do just fine. Though I'm sad to not be getting a good workout with my friend and the circuit training class in. I really enjoy them. I'll also see how I'm feeling Sunday to decided if I do my boot camp workout. 


Since I'm taking the next couple days off from the gym I need to tighten up my "diet" and definitely make sure to …

Workouts (plus a random thought)

I finally saw a drop in weight this month. I had been hovering around the same weight for about 3 weeks and it was getting really frustrating to see that same number over and over. I know that my body is going through some transition since I have added a lot more full body workouts to my schedule. Not that I don't like lifting weights in the traditional sense, but doing this class and working out with another friend here on base has really got drive back in full swing. Plus I now can take what I have learned from each and do my own workout when I can't make it to the class or meet up with my friend. And to be honest, its a lot easier when you have someone else telling you what to do instead of trying to figure out what to do yourself. 


While in class, the instructor said she noticed that I have gotten stronger since I first started the class about a month ago. I said that I couldn't tell, but now that I have had time to think about it, I feel like I can. I can do more reps …

Back on track???

I'm hopefully back on track...today was a great day. I didn't go crazy with eating so much I felt like crap...not that I ate the best considering I had a bag of peanut m&m's. Those plus Reece's peanut butter cups are my weakness. Thank god the last bag is gone and I'm not going to buy any more any time soon. Plus I got in all 5 miles that I had planned today. They weren't my fastest miles but I was only working on distance today. And for once I never thought of stopping before the 5 miles were done. Though about a half mile left I slowed down to walk a few seconds and my legs felt a bit numb, its been a long while since I have ran that long. But I think after this coming Wednesday I won't be running in the afternoons anymore. The warm weather was taking its toll on me. For me a perfect running day is when its a bit cloudy and about 55-60 degrees out. I'm also thinking about just doing the circuit training class on Tuesday and Thursday without any ex…

Some Frustrations

I am so frustrated right now. From November through February I gained back over 20lbs. I honestly got bored with what I was doing at the gym and fed up with watching everything that I ate. And over the last month I have struggled to not gain anymore weight since I can't get a grip on getting my eating cleaner, but the good news is that I have found my love for the gym and working out again. A friend of mine here introduced me to a new circuit training class at the gym and she has also put together a Boot Camp and HIIT workout. I haven't taken my measurements lately so I'm not sure if I have lost the inches I gained back but I have noticed that my bum is getting better looking and that's always a big plus! 


I'm also frustrated right now with my face and the acne that is plaguing it. You would think that someone in their almost mid 30's wouldn't have to be dealing with it, but here I am. I know that there are a few factors that are causing the acne: PMS, stres…

Run..Run..Running into Races

Well the running bug has bitten me big time!! I'm running my third 5k (my 2nd official timed 5k) at the beginning of March. This will be the 2nd time running this 5k and I'm hoping to shave 4-5 minutes off my time from last year, though they are using a new course this year. And I'm running my first 10k at the end of March, with a daunting incline within the first 5k of the race, with the rest of the race downhill or flat. I watched my husband run it last year and while being a spectator I was wishing I was out there running with him, so I made a promise to myself that I would be doing it this year. 


So along with competing in these 2 races my mind went in a what I call a crazy decision to compete in a half marathon this coming fall. YIKES!! I will have 5 1/2 months from the time of my last race in March to train for the half marathon and that is the date that I will be committing to the race and registering. I could have picked a closer race to where I live but I chose to …

More Goals to For Reach!!!

This is about setting goals for myself. These aren't weight loss related in the sense of dealing with the "dieting" or exercising that comes with the weight loss battle, but more from the mental picture of what I have about myself from the weight loss battle. Some of you or most of you know that I was obese from 2001 until last year when I finally left that category behind. And in those 10 years I haven't really care what I looked like. I wore jeans and tee shirts, no make up or any type of jewelry, hair usually pulled into a pony tail. I did treat myself to pedicures since it was the only thing that made me feel girly. If by chance I did have to dress up it was always a pain since I never wanted to spend a lot of money on an outfit that I would most likely only wear once so most times I didn't go to the function. 


BUT THAT IS GOING TO CHANGE NOW!!


I have already started on some of the changes. I do wear make up more often. If I do go out I at least put in a pair o…

2011 into 2012

2011 was a successful year in the weight loss department for the most part. I started out the year weighing 197.8 and ended the year weighing 156.6 for a total lost of 41.2 pounds. Granted I would have liked it to be more but I had a "bad" couple of months during October and November where I gained back around 13-14 lbs.

But I did go from looking like this:


 To looking like this:
One of the biggest things that I learned with the recent weight gain is that I can never stop paying attention to what food I'm putting in my mouth and stop from working out. Though I have learned that I don't have to do as much as I have done through out the year. I have cut back on a lot and is enjoying it more because of so. 
I also completed a full year of running and ran two 5ks, with the plan of running another 5k at the beginning of March and a 10k at the end of March. I have goals of completing the 5k in under 35 minutes and completing the 10k in under 70 minutes. I'm doing both of…