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Update on "Doubts From A Mental Game"

I have been doing better the last couple days after I wrote my last blog. I'm up to eating about 1600-1700 calories a day since I'm burning about 1000 at the gym and I haven't had that hungry feeling. I do believe I was bored so I started to think about food which triggered my brain into thinking I was hungry. I ended up talking to my BF in New Mexico later that night and it totally got my mind off food. I need to start keeping my mind busy. So at least I know I'm not starving myself. 

I have even lost the couple of pounds that I gained from last weekends' eating. I know in reality that I didn't really gain those couple of pounds, that it was mostly water weight from the sodium from eating out a few times. But I can also say that as of today I'm down another 1.2 lbs but tomorrow is my official weigh in day...if my weight stays true (I know that it can shoot back up that it fluctuates daily, but I have been keeping a chart for the last 11 days and it seems to hold true that it goes up at the beginning of the week then drops at the end) then I will only be .8 lb away from being at the 90lb lost mark and closer to being out of the 150's. 

My workouts are going great. As of today I have done over 115 miles running, walking, on the elliptical, on the Stair Master and the bike. I'm also starting to gain back the strength that I had lost by taking off the six weeks earlier this summer and slowly getting back to where I was then. I can't wait to get past that and really start to gain more muscle in my legs and calves...I can feel it in my legs under the fat that's still there, but as time goes by that fat will melt away until only the muscle is left. 

Another great note is that I went by American Eagle since I was in the area tonight and tried on a pair of their jeans in a size 8. I went for the boyfriend cut since I know with my curvy legs I wasn't going to fit into the skinny leg cut. They fit and not to the point where they cut into my stomach, have to suck in my belly to get them buttoned and zipped, but comfortably, even when I sat down in them. I still have a little bit of a belly but I don't think its a muffin top...more from having lose skin in that area. They do sit lower on the waist than I'm used to but I'm sure I can get used to that. I would love to buy a pair from there but I have the gift card to Old Navy, but maybe I'll use that on the kids and get the jeans from AE later on as it gets cooler and I can't wear my carpi's or shorts anymore. It's a sad thought that I have more workout clothes than every day clothes, good thing I don't work or really go anywhere that much (that could be a sad thing too, lol).

I have something else that might come my way on the horizon, but not going to really go into it until it happens for sure, but I hope it does. I think it will be a great thing for me. 


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Total Progress from 237lbs to 172lbs

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That Ugly Fat Girl?

So I was taking a look at my past blogs the other day and I came across the blog I wrote back in April that showed my weight loss journey in pictures. And all I can say is OMG! That starting picture is so freaking horrendous. I can't believe that I actually thought I looked pretty weighing that much. I can't believe that my husband actually found me attractive then. And I can honestly say that I was not one of the pretty fat girls...I was just plain fat and ugly. Its funny what lies one's self will tell them to help them feel good about themselves. I look at myself then and then I look at myself now and can't even comprehend that they are the same person. I feel like I'm a completely different person now. I AM a completely different person now. 

But every once in a while I still look at myself I still see a fat, overweight, ugly person. Like today, I know I had just rocked it on the treadmill doing sprint intervals (definitely going to add that to my workout plan mo…

2014 Update

It's been a while since I wrote a blog...almost a year in fact...

I have struggled so much with my weight over the last couple of years. I went from about 145 lbs up to 200 lbs. I'm back down in the 190's but so upset since I was so happy when I was in the 140s. I need to tighten my belt, for lack of better words, and get back to watching my diet and really and truly get back to counting calories since I know that works for me. 

What really is heart breaking for me is going up in size in clothing. I went from wearing a size 8 to a 14, now back down to 12. I hate buying new clothes when I ones I love just sitting in my closet now being worn.

The good thing this all is that I truly never gave up working out. I might have not been doing it at the intensity that I was in the past but that has change about 5 months ago. Five months ago I found CrossFit and fell in love. I have found through this program that it is very humbling and empowering. I have done more things that I have n…